Coke & Pepsi. There is no in between. Its like Chevy & Ford, Tennessee & Alabama, Celtics & Lakers..........there is no in between.......its one or the other. I grew up a Coke man.....we didnt drink Pepsi products in our house growin' up. So I'm sad to say that I'm no longer with Coke. I'm also glad to say Coke (Corporate) SUCKS ASS! You wanna' talk about being treated like shit? This really hurts me......I'm not kidding.....but I had to do it. I was the biggest Coke fan anti-Pepsi person you ever met. It hurts me now to even think of not serving Coke, but I've had enough! Coke has a true monopoly in the soft drink market. They have so much of the market that they truly dont give a rats ass whether or not you want to do business with them or not, let alone being happy. Those bastards have been prison raping me to the tune of $80.00 per 5 gallon box of syrup ($290.00 per week average) for over a year. To top it off the C-suckers charge me an additional $13.00 per delivery for surcharges and delivery fees. Pepsi offered me $50.00 per box and no fees. Even with those numbers it still took me a night to think about it! Thats a savings of around $6,000.00 per year.
Oh and I dont have the room here to discuss my wonderful sales rep, Terry.....who is NOT on commision I might add. If Terry were on commision, his balding, mullet wearing, Hitler-esque mustache ass would look like a combo crack/meth addict because he'd be starving and homeless! He is THE most worthless "salesmen" on the face of this planet! There are COKE people who read this, maybe even Terry himself. Terry, we here at Martin's Bar-B-Que hope you are reading this. Please follow our directions closely:
1) Print this diatribe
2) Crumple it in your hands
3) Go take a dump
4) Wipe your ass with said crumpled diatribe as hard as you can, several times over.
5) Smear Turpentine on your butt-lips
Now........its said.........I'm not angry anymore and looking forward to my new relationship with Pepsi-Cola.
6 comments:
Pat, I've been reading your blog for a long time now and this is by far the best one you've written. Congrats on telling "Turpentine Terry" off. A long time ago, I had to deal with a Coke rep, and he too was a mouth-breathing neandrathal. Keep up the good work.
I've heard for years that Coca Cola reps were difficult to deal with.
BTW, love the blog. I LMAO each time I read a new post.
Roll Tide.
Pepsi is my pusher! Diet(cause I'm a Fat ass) Mountain Dew is the nector of the gods.
Cuck Foke!
Oh patrick, I love your rant. I became very familiar with Coke's terrible customer service for the small business owner when I tried to get Mill Creek Foods off the ground with unfortunate luck. Your blog gave me the best laugh I've had since having to close the cafe. Keep it going honey. You've got a great place. Continued Luck!
Kim
Just so I'm clear on this: You're not going to have coke in the joint anymore? Please inform because your post was a little vague.-Max
Coke sucks anyway. Used to do business with them and even the delivery guys are a-holes and walk around with a holier than thou attitude. I also worked with a convenience store chain for a while. We finally agreed to carry Coke, and they lied about our cut in the sales, and tried to sue us when their display "wasn't in a highly visible area." F coke in the A. Pepsi has been nothing but kind, generous and pleasant to do business with, and will bend over backwards to make you happy.
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